Interesting Game

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 20 people including me. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song titles.
It's a lot harder than you think!

Repost as "My Life According to (BAND NAME)"

Pick Your Artist: Coldplay

Are you a male or female? Yes

Describe yourself: Trouble

How do you feel: Lost

Describe where you currently live: In My Place

If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Amsterdam

Your favourite form of transportation: Parachutes

Your best friends are: Moses, The Scientist, Sweet Marianne

Your favourite colour is: Yellow

What's the weather like: Rainy Day

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called: Life In Technicolour

What is life to you: Such A Rush

Your current relationship: What If

Breaking up: The Hardest Part

Looking for: Warning Sign

Wouldn’t mind: Glass Of Water

Your fear: Death and all His Friends

What is the best advice you have to give: Careful Where You Stand

If you could change your name, you would change it to: The Escapist

Thought for the Day: Everything Is Not Lost

How you would like to die: Death Will Never Conquer

Your motto: Don't Panic

A Bit Of My Apartment

Messy, yes.

Even though I've been there about three months, I still haven't unpacked everything.

Boxes still sit around.

My bedroom.

My second bedroom.

My baby kitchen.

My living room area.

My hallway/bathroom.

As Promised...

More consistency in the form of a late night/early morning post.

Just got in from a jog/interval work out.

I believe I can safely say I've met my quota of fitness for today.

Two work outs in one day is more than enough, in my opinion.

My shins are killing me from doing those five hundred stairs.

I won't be surprised AT ALL if I get diagnosed with shin splints.

Had less than happy thoughts today, about multiple things that I keep hoping will sort themselves out.

Realized post work out that I really have nothing worth complaining about,

people around the world have it far worse off than me.

Unfortunately that doesn't really diminish the frustration/upset.

Back again

I have been frightfully remiss with blogging frequently/consistently, 

but I've fallen into that stupor of "nobody reads what I write anyway".

Clearly that's the whole reason why I don't tout my writing,

but lately loneliness has been clouding my better sense of judgment.

We really pray the crappiest prayers sometimes.

I was thinking today of how I've prayed before,

"Oh God, please make him like me!  I'll do anything!"

Now I look back and think, 'Ew!!!  THAT guy???'

It's a good thing that God ignores those selfish and idiotic prayers.

Otherwise we'd be experiencing some very unpleasant things.

Lately Imogen Heap has been my best friend, and also Regina Spektor.

Those two artists seem to go hand-in-hand for me.

And btw, if you like Imogen Heap, check out this beautiful interpretation of "Hide and Seek".

Delightful.

Okay, so I'm going to attempt to be a bit more consistent with blogging.

I've noticed a definite trend--when I write in my diary I usually slack with the blogging,

and of course that effect works vice versa as well.

"don't push"

don't shove
just breathe--
breathe in
breathe you
breathe me.
there is time
there is love
don't push me on
don't push me in
flow out,
ebbing over who
we are,
leaving shadows
with rom to quietly grow
don't fight,
don't force
let it in, let it come
let change be
let us be
if we will be we
it will come naturally
don't push.

SOC (stream of conscious)

Pretend I'm invisible,

pretend I don't exist,

but don't glance my way

don't look in my direction

don't share a quick look.

Just stop.

I would be so much better,

so much happier without the tastes,

without the snatches of him.

Take the questions

take the curiousity out of your eyes.

Walk out of the door of my life,

and please close it behind you.

a new one

from you to me
from i to you
strange how
it never comes true.
how my dream
feels surreal:
haunts me when
i close my eyes
and nothing
is as true to me
as those little
white lies
i tell myself to
stay alive and
keep from free
falling, but life
won't let you live
a lie,
catching you up
in it's truthful tide;
waves
of feelings when i
hear you calling
worst of all
is all consuming
emptiness
that makes you
pause and wonder:
what is life if we are
left alone to wonder
through time with
out another beating
heart close to ours?
or worse, torn
asunder--been
give that little drug,
taste of what
could be, then
denied it again.
keep thinking,
'time heals all wounds'

Hope

This is the trouble, the crazy thing about life.  Hope.

Even though we may be torn apart and the situation may seem irredeemable,  we still somehow manage deep inside of us to hope that things will sort themselves, and eventually the situation will turn into something beautiful or healthy.

I think of all those people in WWII who waited and waited and hoped for their freedom.  They somehow managed to believe that change would have to occur, because that was all they had.

So what if I have nothing, and hope is all that have?  Will I have spend all this time waiting and hoping for things to change?

Because even though hope is what keeps us alive, and keeps us looking forward to the future, sometimes to me it simply feels like torture.  Hope feels me with "what coulds" and "what ifs", where I would prefer there to be no expectations.

Expectations mean that you will inevitable be let down (especially by other people), and nothing hurts more than the let down, even if it as gentle as possible.

Even though I try to quench the hope, it still dreams and beat underneath the surface of my being.  As I drive my car to nowhere hoping to escape from everything, underneath there is this niggling hope that things will get better and that I will find a way to or from this problem.  

What do we have if we  don't have hope?  I think just a bleak, unimaginative future that presents no surprise or possibilities.  What do we have when we do have hope?  We have this ever growing belief that circumstances will improve.

I can't which one I would choose, if I could choose. 

old poetry

I yanked out some old journals last night and went for a trip down memory lane.

Even though most of the poetry that I have written is a direct byproduct of a relationship or friendship gone sour/remaining stagnant, everything I wrote is still so powerful to me personally. 

Here are a couple poems that I found scribbled in barely legible writing, as if the words needed to spill out faster than I could write.

"free flowing"

is me pouring out on you

all i am.

words falling away

and drifting towards you-

you run.

afraid of me.

afraid of truth.

afraid of life.

free flowing is the fear

of you,

your fear of me-

our fear

pushing us

apart.

"in the quiet"

here without you in the quiet,

this place of loneliness i

wait, wanting you to be

here with me.

here in the quiet, i feel

you deep and know i am

missing you, loving you,

needing you.

here in the quiet, in the

long dark silences, in the

dreams that wake me in

desperation...

in the quiet

without you

i will wait here.

Good Friday

All for love the Father gave
For only love could make a way
All for the love the heavens cried
For Love was crucified

Oh, how many times
Have I broken Your heart?
Still you forgive
If only I ask
And how many times have You heard me pray,
"Draw near to me"

Everything I need is You
My beginning, my forever
Everything I need is You

Let me sing "all for love"
And I will join the angel song
Ever holy is the Lord
King of Glory
King of all

Oh, how many times
Have I broken Your heart?
Still Your forgive
If only I ask
And how many times have You heard me pray
"Draw near to me"

Everything I need is You
my beginning, my forever
Everything I need is You

All for love a Saviour prayed:
"Abba Father, have Your way
Though they know not what they do
Let the cross draw men to you"


[All For Love]Hillsong United




Good Friday is truly a time for meditation and pondering on the gift of grace and life that Christ has given us with his remarkable sacrifice.
As it says in the Bible, it's so easy to sacrifice yourself for someone good who is of some worth. How much harder it is to do so for someone who is despicable.
However, the grace of God looks past our sins and weaknesses and judges us all equal...sinners in need of a Saviour.
Take this moment, even if you do not believe in Jesus/God...take this moment to think of the sacrifices that people have made, modeling that choice upon the greatest sacrifice of all...Jesus.

Sketches of the Mind

I'm on a Hedley kick, by the way.

Lately I've been listening to "Trip" over and over and over again...

Packing those boxes in faith totally worked.

I found an apartment and I move in on May 1st.

||Woah,

what are you doing to me?

I'm so into you and the hardest part is knowing that I'll never follow through.

You're slowly killing me,

and I wish it wasn't true...

Cos I'm so into you.||

<3

I'm excited and scared.

The combination is almost heady.

a bad dream - keane

why do i have to fly

over every town

up and down the line?

i'll die in the clouds above

and you that i defend,

i do not love.

i wake up,

it's a bad dream

no one on my side

i was fighting

but i just feel too tired to be fighting

guess i'm not the fighting kind.

where will i meet my fate?

baby i'm a man

i was born to hate.

and where will i meet my end?

in a better time you could my friend

i wake up

 it's a bad dream

no one on my side

i was fighting

but i just feel too tired to be fighting

guess i'm not fighting the kind

wouldn't mind it

if you were by my  side

but you're long gone

yeah you're long gone

yeah

where do we go?

i don't even know

my strange old face

and i'm thinking about those days

and i'm thinking about those days

i wake up

it's a bad dream

no one on my side

i was fighting

but i just feel too tired to be fighting

guess i'm not the fighting kind

wouldn't mind it 

if you were by my side

but you're long gone

yeah you're long gone

yeah

 

the beginning.

I do feel rather and very overwhelmed right now,

the rather an attempt to calm myself from the work that is ahead of me,

work translation: operation clean and pack room.

Standing in the face of the storm that has encompassed my room, I have now made a promise to myself--I will never let my room, or any room of my apartment/house/future settlements sink to such a disastrous level.

It feels almost post-apocalyptic...a shattered picture frame wedged snugly under a leg castor crumbles to shiny splinters of glass, receipts from years past yellowing and faded litter the ground, mounds of clothes topple over, and dust floats in the air as snow mid-January in Canada.

I've started scratching a path through the mess and am slowly making trail lines in and out.  I'm sure that this foray will turn up several items that have been missing for the past few months, even years.

I shall keep you posted.

Varying Degrees of Change

We have this strange expectation that when things change it is going to happen drastically all at once, and that we will be surprised and confounded by the changes in our life.

I guess the thing is...it doesn't really happen that way at all...not usually anyway.

Things just creep up on you, until it feels like you just wake up and realize that things have changed around you.

It's probably a blessing in disguise. Drastic changes usually adversely affect us. We're not built to handle stress, worry, and concern.

I'm not even sure why I'm writing this, except that I feel as though I am facing changes head on, not with eyes shut. It's the first I've done this so it feels a bit odd and I'm not sure how things will progress, but I will update with my craziness and rambling.

The world sucks.

So so so many thoughts whirling around in my head right now, but what I can mainly think about and wonder about is how the world that we live and the people we live besides can be so evil and cruel.
How can "love" drive us to hate each other? How can we hurt and betray humankind?
How did the Germans justify the genocide of the Jews? How did they, in the their minds, tolerate the mind-numbing hurt and pain that they put those prisoners in concentration camps through?
Is it not scary how quickly and thoroughly we can be converted to believing something that is so far from the truth, it is completely unrecognizable?
Is it not frightening, the capacity that we each have in ourselves, to damage and tear apart those around us? Skin is just skin, a breathing organ that tears with external force and causes us to bleed, and even deeper is the heart that is metaphysical and can be hurt far worse than our epidermis.
Why do people continually opt to bring a child into this world, that has the ability to damage and cause so much pain? Are the brief moments of joy worth subjecting someone to the cruel and harsh truths that glare at us through the tomes of history?
Will we ever learn from our mistakes? How do we continue to make the some mistakes and choices over and over again? How can people torture other people and enjoy their screaming and tears? How is possible for goodness and evil to flourish together?
It's almost a curse, really, to grow up. True you might experience life far more fully than you did as a child, but is the loss of innocence worth it? As a child you might look up at black smoke in the air and imagine someone in the forest with a comfortable campfire to keep them warm. As an adult you realize that the ominous black spirals of smoke are not campfires around which a group of campers huddle to cook their meals...the truth of crematoriums and burnt bodies cannot escape your mind.
There is a definite wonder and joy in life and being able to enjoy and utilize our senses as we should, but always there is this awareness at the back of our minds...that something dark is in the shadows all around us, and it will never truly be gone.
I wish the world would open up its eyes and see what it has become...twisted by wars, famine, epidemics, death...It has become a place where dream are possible...but so are nightmares.

A Survey

I hate to use this blog to write up insipid surveys, but I'm bored and I don't feel like posting it all over Facebook. So here goes...



Does your Facebook password have to do with a person?: Not at all.

What's one thing a guy can do to make you like them?: Besides sharing religious beliefs, being humourous/dynamic.

Big or small purses?: Definitely big. The bigger, the better.

Do you enjoy drama?: Drama as in gossip etc. is a no go.

Did you dress up on Halloween?: Not usually. I dressed up two years ago, but I'm into it.

Do you call anybody by their last name?: Yep, a few people. Not many though.

Can you put on mascara without opening your mouth?: Yes, easily. And I can also put on my eyeliner with one hands. Skillz yo.

Have you ever been called a bad influence?: Yes, definitely.

Eyeliner or mascara?: If I HAD to choose, eyeliner.

American Eagle or Hollister?: AE. They have great purses.

Heels or Flats?: It depends on the outfit, of course.

Straight or curly hair?: My hair is curly/wavy but I like both.

Hoops or dangling earrings?: Dangly.

Have you ever had your heart broken?: Yes...who hasn't?

Do you prefer light or dark haired guys?: That doesn't matter.

Ever walked into the guy's bathroom?: Yes. And seen things. Kill me now.

Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on?: I've been pushed in.

Ever slapped a guy in the face?: Yes, a few times.

Have you ever not been able to get someone off of your mind?: Of courseee.

Do you ever wish you were famous?: Nope.


IN A BOY:

Contacts or Glasses?: It doesn't matter.

Long or short hair?: It doesn't matter.

Cute or Hot?: It doesn't matter.

Smoker or non-smoker?: Smoking is very bad for you, okay?

Tall or short?: Tall preferably.

You're stuck on an elevator with the person you've fallen the hardest for, what happens? Probably just make small talk.

Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?: Hopefully nothing.


RANDOMS:

If you woke up in one of the Saw movies, do you think you could survive?: Ha, does anyone ever survive those movies? And probably not.

When is the last time you were in a photo booth taking pictures with friend?: Yearsss ago.

Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided seeing them?: Heck yes. At least once a week.

Do you know anyone with such a terribly annoying voice that you can't even stand it?: Yep yep yep.

On average, what do you think you cry about the most? Self-pity.

Who was the last guy you talked to?: Joseph.

Do you think best friends can be replaced?: No. But they can leave.

Does the last person you held hands with mean a lot? Everyone means a lot ;)

Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life?: Yes, but I think you rarely expect it to be that certain person.

Which of your friends is the easiest to talk to?: I can talk easily with most people.

What friend do you tell the most?: None.

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? A few people last Sunday afternoon.

Wheres the weirdest place you've changed clothes?: Hahaha oh man this reminds me of vacations last year, when I changed in a variety store parking lot standing beside my car. :|

Are you going anywhere next summer?: CAMPING!!!

Are you waiting for anyone's call right now?: Nope...

Are you shy?: NEVER.

Are you talkative?: Yesss...I never shut up.

Do you announce when you have to pee?: Sometimes. It depends on whom I am with and the circumstances.

Who was the last person you cried in front of?: Kristina P.

Where was the last place you went away to?: I don't know what means. I just went to the mall with a sister...

I've never experienced this before, but I can imagine the tragedy of it. Loving someone so much and having them slip away from you. Not taken away, not seperated by death...nope, just a relationship gone sour.
So you're close to someone...you know everything about them. You spend hours with them, loving all of them and all that they have to offer. While you love them and dream about them, you are so close and intimate, you know when there has been a shift in your relationship.
Then at one point, you wake up and realise that you are no longer close to them. You have moved away from them, they have moved away from you.
The real tragedy of it is that we can genuinely love someone but not know how to reach them and how to get them to open it. Relationships are reparable, but both people have to want to change and to make things better.
I don't know...the people that you love the most also hurt you the most, so what is the point of even starting something that will at some point in time break your heart? Is it really worth? Is the joy that accompanies relationships worth the heartache and sadness?

Divine Encounters [Brushes With Humanity]

So here is how it goes.

Ever since seeing the preview for Final Destination 2, in which the narrator expounds on how each of our actions has a consequence--which is shown in a series of life changing moments including a multi-car pile up on a highway--I have many times considered the truth of that belief.

It is definitely eye-opening to consider how many times we have done or said things that have negatively and/or positively affected the people around us. What we do is very telling of our character, and what we say speaks volumes of our heart. How we treat affects them more than us, but we rarely think of that.

Anyway, since seeing that preview I have consistently thought of the consequences of each and every single thing that we do. It is awe-inspiring to contemplate the fact that we are all connected, and we have an irreversible effect on each other.

Something happened to me and a couple of my friends last summer that we have only shared with a few people, because it left us shaken. It made me realise that I know very little about life and that it will constantly scare and surprise me until I die. This past week someone I had talked to about the occurrence mentioned it to me, jogging my memory and once again drawing me back to those thoughts of Newton's Law: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

It was an early Sunday night last summer. My dad was staying home from church for some reason that I cannot directly recall. I think he was suffering through a bout of back pain. At any rate, children's' choir was singing that night so my dad asked me to drive our minivan up to the church early to drop off my family for the practice. At this point I had my own car, and needless to say, I wasn't utterly ecstatic at the idea of being seen driving this white minivan that had a history of questionable performance. Strangely enough, even though it was quite an older van, it had this odd security system where you had to swipe a magnetic key through the air underneath the dashboard before you could the van to turn on. It took me literally around three minutes just to get the thing started for church.

Once we arrived early at the church, Sihaam, Kristina and I decided to head over to Tim Hortons to get a drink. It was hot out and we wanted to cool down. We hopped into the ghetto minivan and roared our way over to the Timmies. Because I wanted to avoid the hassle of turning the van off and then struggling to get it restarted due to the security system, we chose to go through the drive through.

Then, just as we were heading up to the ordering box/mic, the van stalled. My dad had in passing lightly mentioned that it had the unfortunate habit of stalling when it idled for too long, but I didn't really take what he had said seriously. He said it had only stalled twice on him. Here we are, stuck in the drive thru, cars backed up behind us, and we weren't quite at the ordering box to tell them what was going on. We could hear the lady's voice up ahead: "Hello? Welcome to Tim Hortons, how can I help you? Hello? Helllloooooooo?"

At that point we were laughing and freaking out simultaneously. This is what we sounded like--

"Swipe it!"
"I'm swiping it!"
"TURN IT ON!!!!"
"IT WON'T GO ON!"
"FRIG BACK UP!"
"I CAN'T BACK UP! THERE ARE CARS BEHIND US!"
*HONK*
"WHAT THE FRIG WHAT THE FRIG WHAT FRIG!"
"STUPID PIECE OF NO GOOD WHITE DUMB FREAKIN MINIVAN THAT I HATE HATE HATE!"
"I am going to KILL Dad! This is all his fault!"
"Holy stupid car Batman."
"Guys, seriously, what do we do?"

This went on for a while. I guess now that I look back on it, it was much more amusing that we guessed. We were switching hysterical laughing and yelling at each other. Finally after several minutes (at least two, which seem a lot longer than two when you're blocking a Timmies drive thru) I managed to get the system to beep on and the car turned over. We rumbled to up to the ordering speaker, got our coffee and iced caps, and drove up to the window. We were quite embarrassed. Very embarrassed. Very very embarrassed. And the girl at the window was not amused at all. At all.

Well that was a somewhat humiliating and discomforting situation, and we were all freaking out even after we left the Tims and headed back to the church. We had to leave out of the wrong exit and so we were forced to take the long route back to the church. The whole drive we disparaged the van and avoided eye contact with pedestrians and people in other vehicles. I think Kristina and Sihaam saw the humour in the situation before I did.

As we were driving down Hester Street (it was around six-fifteen at this point), we were talking and going on in our usual slightly crazy manner. Tooling along at barely forty kph (stupid van), as we neared Upper Wellington, out of the corner of my eye I noticed a guy standing beside his car which was pulled up onto parking lot/driveway of a small business that was obviously closed. The man had something is his hands and he was hitting it against the passenger door of the door. I obviously could not drive straight and stare over my right shoulder so I looked back ahead and said casually, "Hey, what's that guy doing back there?" I thought he was hammering out a dent in his car door. Hey, it's not that far-fetched of an idea! My dad had to do that to our old van when someone *cough*Josh*cough* dented it.

But when I mentioned that to the girls, they whipped around and started staring at the guy and then both of them started yelling at the same time. I could barely deceipher what they were saying, but Sihaam who was in the passenger seat beside me started excitedly hitting the dashboard and repeated "TURN AROUND TURN AROUND TURN AROUND RIGHT NOW!" at the top of her lungs. Kristina was screaming, "THERE'S A GIRL IN THE CAR! HE'S DRAGGING HER OUT OF THE CAR! HE'S HITTING HER!!! TURN AROUND!" They were both literally SCREAMING, and I couldn't turn around because I was right at the lights then. Sihaam was hollering at the top of her lungs and doing that weird spastic body shake thing she does was she gets far too excited for her own good. I acted out of reflex. I slapped her across the face and yelled, "SHUT UP! I'M TURNING AROUND!" Kristina was still yelling in the seat behind us.

I don't even remember how I managed to turn around. I think I turned right at the lights and took a shortcut through another business parking lot. Anyway, however it happened, I turned the crappy minivan around and headed back down Hester Street.

I guess we really didn't think about what we would do once we got back to the situation. I think basically we all thought that we were seeing things. Would a guy really beat on a girl right on a street during daylight? When we were driving back I really do think that we all thought we had been seeing things and it would be explained once we get there.

Well, it wasn't. I drove slowly back to the spot, and the guy was still there, but at this point he was screaming at the top of his lungs at her, and she was crying and standing beside the car. He took his hammer and slammed it against the windows of the car, knocking the glass out. He grabbed her and started shaking her and we stared. He looked up and yelled something like, "What are you *insert long stream of expletives here* looking at?!" We had the air conditioning on so I had to roll the window down. I leaned out of the van and said the all-Canadian phrase, "Hey ummm...is everything okay?" Obviously it wasn't, but it was weird...I felt rude interrupting their one-sided argument.

The guy replied something like, "Yeah yeah whatever".
I said, "Ummm...you wanna come with us?" to the girl.

It was weird. I don't think either of them expected anyone to stop. They both kinda paused and stared for a few seconds and then the guy started freaking out again and screaming at the girl, banging his hammer against the car. There was glass all over the ground from the windows.

I yelled again, "HEY! You should come with us! You should come now."
The girl looked hesitantly towards us, and we could tell she wanted to come with us but she wasn't sure about what to do.
I said again, "You need help. We're here to help you. You should come with us."

The guy started freaking out again and said something like, "Shut Up! Shut up! *insert more colourful expletives here*"
I said calmly, "I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to her."
She started walking toward us and he went off again.
"FINE, LEAVE! LEAVE LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO YOU LITTLE *more descriptive words* BECAUSE YOU'RE A *more unfriendly words*!!!"

There was more of an exchange here, but I can't remember what exactly it was. All I can recall is urging her to get into the van, and she tentatively eased toward it as the man get screaming, banging the car, calling her names, and blaming her for all his problems.

I was so afraid at that point that he would chase her across the street or threaten us. The van was still idling and I kept thinking, 'Please don't stall, please don't stall.' Sihaam climbed into the back seat with Kristina. They had both gotten really quiet, and as the girl climbed into the passenger seat at the front, they both clammed up completely. All I could hear from the back seat was that bubbling/scraping sound straws make when you get to the bottom of your drink.

The girl was probably in her late teens/early twenties. She was crying and visibly distressed. She had bruises all over her. Some were blue, some were yellow, indicating that she had had some of them for a while and some were fresher. We didn't know what to say. I drove down the street as quickly as the van could take us (not very fast) and I asked her, "Is there someone you can call? Do you want to go to the police?"

Initially she seemed like she wanted to go, but we didn't know where the police station was. She said that is had happened before and she didn't have any friends to call. She called her mother and asked her to meet at the Wendy's.

It was perhaps the most poignant moment I have ever had in my life: her insisting that it was okay and she had been through it before. She climbed out of the van and disappeared. Before she left we asked her her name, and as she walked into the Wendy's to meet her mother, we prayed quickly for her.

I guess the reason why this impacted me so much was because of two things.

One was the absolute sovereignty involved in the whole situation. If my dad hadn't hurt his back, needed me to drive the failure of a van, if it hadn't stalled in the Tims...we might have missed them when we drove by. If we had been maybe two minutes later or earlier, we may not have been able to have removed that girl from that situation. So that has remained with me and it holds me steadfast to the belief that God has connected us all with His omnipotence, leading us to divine encounters.

The second thing that impacted me was how fragile we are as people. While we might be resilient and we might pull through terrible sicknesses, it is so easy to break us emotionally and hurt us. The young woman acted as though she almost deserved to be physically ripped out of a car, punched and slapped in the face. The brief touch with humanity, and the realisation that this type of violence occurs on a daily basis shook us all up. We are often to far removed from these realities, because they are not in our face on a regular basis. It is so easy to think the best of humans when you constantly are seeing the best. Violence shakes you up and reminds you of what we are capable of.

So that is the story of something that changed me forever. I don't feel that turning the van around and going back with particularly an act of courage. It was simply what needed to be done.

And, if you ever see or are involved in a situation like this, call the police at once. We didn't even think of doing that, but it's probably the best idea.

Just This:

So the weather is finally warming up,
no longer in the chilly minuses.
We have the bathroom window propped open,
and you can smell the freshness of spring beginning,
bringing hope in the middle of the most dreary month of the year.

I realised (again) that the city never sleeps.
There is always something happening,
sounds all over,
indicating life, growth, movement, change.
Life.

From the window there was a faraway siren,
a barking dog,
a car running,
honking,
birds,
and mumbles of pepople talking.
From inside--
computer noises from the next room,
my dog stirring and snoring simultaneously,
music in my iPhones.
Even now the a clicking of dog nails,
and from the corner of my eye I can see her tentatively trying to sneakily get on the bed.

What do you really want from life?
What makes it beautiful to you?
Why do you embrace is everyday?
On some days, why do you feel like rejecting all that it has to offer?

Thoughts...

Happy Valentines Day.

This is my obligatory holiday post.

I'm not anti-Valentines Day.
Of course I do not like the commercialism that hounds the holidays (as with all other holidays), but I find that it as a holiday is almost elitist. It targets those who are relationships, and singles are left feeling as though they are somehow missing out on the grand scheme of things.

Hmm.